KISSMYRPC
Bittensor (TAO) Subnet 69 Optimized

The World's Most
Pretentious RPC

Yes, your subnet token is definitively as decentralized as Bitcoin because it has the exact same maximum supply of 21 million tokens. That’s literally the only metric that matters. Noah said so.

root@kissmyrpc:~# tail -f /var/log/bullshit.log

Synergy Configurator 9000™

Drag? No, just click. We ran out of budget for drag-and-drop.

Validator Node

Slashes innocent miners

Neural Engine

Literally just an OpenAI API wrapper

Subnet Spawner

Creates useless subnets for fun

Ponzi Tokenomics

Up-only algorithm (patent pending)

AI SYNERGY CAPACITY: 0%

99.9% Uptime

Uptime is defined as "the server is physically plugged into the wall." Whether the RPC software is running is frankly none of your business.

Zero Latency

We achieve zero latency by pre-generating generic JSON responses and sending them back before you even formulate your request. It's AI, baby.

Enterprise Security

Your data is secured by industry-leading console.log() statements. We promise not to dump your API keys on 4chan (unless we get bored).